Convo with CGBFxx00897

Today I was asked by my soul friend to write a blog post for her website. She knows how petrified I become if anyone asks me to write more than 140 words. I even write emails that are shorter than most of the tweets on Twitter. Having never said no to her any demands, I had to find a way to avoid the difficult situation.

I decided to put in the theory of “100 Monkeys” to test. The theory says that an infinite number of monkeys sitting at an infinite number of typewriters would eventually reproduce the works of Shakespeare by chance.

I wrote a quick and dirty computer simulator in Python and fired it off. As I was staring the random strings being generated by the program I was getting disheartened. Then suddenly there was a ping on my terminal. I was more petrified by seeing that ping than I was when someone asks me to write. The ping simply said: “Hello, there!” and there was a prompt waiting for me to type something.

I was undecided whether I should respond to it or not. What if some government agency found that I have developed a cutting edge technology, knowing my level of programming the chances of it being true is as slim as AK49 talking sense. Muttering “Aall iz well” I typed: “Hello”

The screen flickered for a few second and the terminal suddenly transformed into a beautiful chat room, reminding me of my Yahoo! Chat days. It was reassuring. I was little less hesitant to respond now. So our chat started.

alienhuman2

Me: ASL please (For the uninitiated: ASL = Age Sex Location)

Stranger: 450 years, Female, Zeta Nibiru

(Reading this I was sure that my computer is hacked. So I disconnected the wifi. The stranger things doesn’t end with disconnection)

Stranger: I am not using your network, but we use Galaxycom network.

Me: What’s that company? I have never heard of any internet provider by that name.

Stranger: It’s a new startup located 4 light years in Alpha Centauri star system. You should be knowing this. I don’t understand how you guys are not bothered about your own backyard. There was a huge celebration last millennium when It was launched. I was there.

Me: You said you are just 450 years old how come you were there in last millennium launch celebration?

Stranger: 450 years according to my planet.

Me: Oh! What is your name? How did you contact me? Why did you contact me?

Alien Stranger: My name is CGBFxx00897. Your monkeys wrote a code which redirected your own satellite and send a message to us. Through that we triangulated your location and contacted you. We contacted you to tell you to stop your monkeys as they have redirected our plasma ray gun towards your planet and if they fire it, your planet will be destroyed.

Hearing this I was frozen. I immediately pressed Ctrl+C to stop execution and the earth was saved. I was feeling like I am superman, having saved the humanity.

CGBF: Thanks for not maligning my species, but you yourself are quite capable of, and doing it right.

Me: Excuse me? You mean to say we are destroying our planet?

CGBF: Yes, our database tells us that you guys are killing your own species and extincting other species too in the process.

Me: Extinction is the price to pay for development. We are not killing our own species; it is just some odd people who are misguided.

CGBF: Who are those misguided people? How many of them? Why those who are “Not misguided” are stopping them?

Me: They are doing these killing for political reasons, religious reasons, developmental reasons. Those killings are just collateral damage.

CGBF: When our species found you, you were living in caves, we carefully nurtured you, gave you enough to survive, taught you how to co-exist with nature. Now when we look back we feel ashamed of doing that.

You say you love your Gods, yet you hate His creation. You kill your own species for Him, you sacrifice His other creations to please Him. Tell me how would you think if I destroy your Monkey Software stating that I love you?

Me: It’s a thoughtful words. I don’t know how to answer.

CGBF: You say earth is your mother and you pollute it with most toxic chemicals, you pray trees yet you cut it for building houses for Gods. We are unable to understand your love for God. Thank God we found your species in the farthest corner of the galaxy else…. *Shudders*

(I was speechless by this time, I can’t defend my fellow humans actions but it is very profound. A person or shall I say an Alien contacted me to stop my program so that it doesn’t destroy my own planet, and here we are creating those programs in the name of nuclear bombs, religious books, political ideology which can destroy our planet 1000 times. Being very ashamed…..)

Me: It was nice talking to you. Hope to chat with you soon. Please tell me how to do that.

CGBF: It is very easy. Ask your monkeys to do that… *Winks* Hope to see your planet in good health.

I heard a phone call from a far and I woke up. My soul friend was calling me to ask if I have started writing or not.

By, I am that “K” (His pseudonym)

He can be contacted on Twitter at Cydonia and he is a Total web nerd. Professional Reader. Certified Thinker. Travel Scholar. Problem solver. Twitter ninja. Ex-blogger. 

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Yes, I like when you write to me.