An adult

The day you became an adult isn’t the day you think it was.

It isn’t the day you first fell in love or the day your heart first broke.

It isn’t the first time you turned 18,

You are not an adult when you get your licence to drive.

You are not an adult because you had a child.

You are not an adult when you realise that one day you will die.

You are not an adult when you realise one day soon your parents will die.

You are not an adult when you realise you will continue to make the same mistakes.

The day you become an adult is the day that when invited to attend an average event with free alcohol and you think, “No, my time is worth more to me than what I would save drinking free, I would rather pay for my own drinks somewhere I WANT to be.”

Once that happens, you are all grown up, so go out and be immature with your friends. Talk about when you were young.

 “This post is for Day 31 of UBC and Daily Chatter

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Spread Love & Happiness

I often ask myself what is happiness? I can actually count how many times I’ve been genuinely happy.

Loving without condition, talking without intention, and giving without reason, caring without expectation is this happiness?

Sounds very bookish, but it works.

Attitude is not about being rude and arrogant. It’s influencing others with your words, actions, gestures.

I was very short tempered and often labelled that I have attitude and upbringing problem. This brought in my parents which was wrong for me. Nobody deserves to bear the brunt of my ill behavior, whatever mood I may be its mine and I am to be blamed for it. Ego, arrogance, and self pride I never had them in my life but I still don’t understand why was I so short tempered?

Circumstances, situations differ from day to day and person to person. The way everybody reacts or responds is different. When I can have so much of mood differences why cannot others and I accept everybody on their face value though I have not many people around me.

I got negative suggestions, still get them and will keep on getting them but I know what to accept and what not to. These suggestions actually made me realize who is the real one who actually cares for me.

I don’t believe in revenge because it doesn’t help anybody. You can hit the person but will that heal your bruises? No, never. Apart from lack of complaint I think I am blessed with quality of pardoning everyone who has done wrong to me. I actually remember every that person who has injured me mentally and whom I have forgiven and forgotten their pierces on me.

I feel I was born romantic just because first three alphabets of my name with word ‘romantic’ are same.

I care a lot no matter if that person cares for me or not. I belong to the clan of people who believe in expressing love not just once but all the time. I don’t feel love is staged, exaggerated. Love is endless, eternal, and everlasting. It’s addictive.

I know I can’t change anyone by writing a few words here and I don’t expect anyone to follow all these immediately. But if you read the post and reached here, that means you did agree with what I wrote.

“This post is for Day 30 of UBC and Daily Chatter

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Disappear…Disappear…Disappear

It really sucks when someone you are awfully close to goes missing without any notice. What are you supposed to do especially when that person promises you of coming back? Wait for them when there are no signs of them showing up day after day after day, weeks after weeks? Or are you supposed to be worried about them when there is no way of reaching them except for a phone call ( which is never taken) email and messages to which you receive no response? Are you supposed to be angry at them for not being available, or are you supposed to feel the constant blues?

Our mind is really funny… Sometimes it gets attached to an idea of a person, the person we want to be, or the person we want to be with, or the person we want to fall for, just the whole idea is so amusing that we start living in an illusion which makes us happy and keeps us going, gives us the motivation to move ahead.

The point which confuses me is, since there is an almost invisible line between reality and illusion… How far can we go? People come and go but some of them, we really want to stay besides us. So do we let the real person go and keep staying with the illusion?

Think about it and if you have something to tell me, your own experience, please do share.

“This post is for Day 29 of UBC and Daily Chatter

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The perfect pen pal pair up

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It feels like you can’t walk past a bench or television without seeing something about letter friendship. Everyone’s meeting their soul mates and spouses through email and pokes. I met my closest friend through a letter. Not only that, but I flew to Delhi to meet her in person.

Anu and I met, in 2006. She found me through an article I had written. She approached me but it took me a week or so to get to talk to her.

We eventually, decided to exchange phone numbers and became each other’s confidant and shifted our correspondence online. Our friendship took to a higher step when we realised we both are huge literature lovers. Books made our friendship more strong.

In 2010, she asked me if I could visit her at Delhi. I was working in Ahmedabad and I had not taken any leave from work so my casual leaves were pending. March was the perfect time for us to meet as neither of us had anything due in March and it was just meant to be for us.

I don’t know how sure that she is who she says she is, but it’s impossible to fake on web cam chats, and we did that almost every day. I do have friends and a social life outside of the internet but Anu seemed to be different.

Although to be completely honest, we both agreed serial killers didn’t spend 4 years getting to know someone online before meeting and then killing them.

As I came out of the airport, I heard someone screaming ‘Paaji’ ( thats how Anu used to address me) and she was infront of me. It was the most thrilling moment of my life. I had never been that excited and nervous about meeting anyone.

I don’t even remember seeing her for the first time. I just remember she running to me in a black floral shirt. We screamed, hugged, bounced and cried just a little bit. Walking back we noticed that crowd was staring at us. A few older people joked that we must have been strangers, and I responded, honestly, that I had never met this girl before in my life.

The only weird thing about meeting my “pen pal” was that it wasn’t weird at all. We didn’t have to speak or even look at each other to communicate. It felt less like I was spending a weekend with a stranger, and more like I was spending a typical weekend with my best friend. There was a moment, watching MTV, planning a trip to the Museum and discussing homemade food. When we looked at each other and realized that we didn’t spend every day doing this, that this wasn’t normal.

We both cried when she left me at the airport. While we both agree that this trip did make a big impact on our friendship, we will most likely visit each other every six months in the future. The internet just gave our friendship a modern twist on the classic pen pal story. Though we could not meet every 6months but we wrote emails/letters to each other almost every day.

“This post is for Day 28 of UBC and Daily Chatter

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Toe rings

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I love wearing them. I think they are really fashionable and stylish. I am waiting to own a few pairs and wear them accordingly. Of course, toe-rings- as with every Indian ornament- have a deeper meaning. Wearing toe-rings signifies that the woman is married (it is the Indian equivalent of the wedding ring). And is mandatory in some regions of the country. Yes, that’s how I will start wearing them. But then, I started liking them for their own beauty, not for their significance. They are a pretty piece of jewellery. Now-a-days, the toe rings are not just for married women anymore, a lot of unmarried girls also wear them and it has become a huge trend in the west.

Though there is no documentation on when and why toe rings came into use but, according to the scientific reasoning, there are some health benefits of wearing toe rings. The reflexology scripts mention about treating gynaecological problems by massaging the second toe. There is also a belief that the wearing of toe rings press on certain nerves that pertain to the reproductive system, which helps in keeping the system balance and healthy. By wearing these rings in both feet, it is believed, that the menstrual cycle course is regularized with even intervals. This gives good scope for conceiving to married women.

Shouldn’t we be wearing because it makes us happy, rather than because it signifies a custom?

“This post is for Day 27 of UBC and Daily Chatter

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Saree troubles

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The art of wearing a saree and most importantly, walking gracefully in it doesn’t come to me. My mother wears a sari because she grew up with it (she could not imagine ever wearing anything else).

I wore saree three times in my life and walked like a clumsy duck. I cringe every time I see the pictures or remember those times. It embarrasses me that I can’t carry it off gracefully. My god, lakhs of Indian women do it with such grace and why, oh why, God had to do this to me, is what I’m simply asking!

I am the only one in my entire family and one through the past/present generations, who doesn’t fancy wearing a saree. I am surprised how my little sister (all of just 17years) is an expert in wearing saree. Draping the saree and carrying it needs grace which I lack.

Accessorizing the saree is tougher. Jewellery, shoes and bag has to match. One cannot wear flats as the sari is so long, but you can’t wear heels that are too high unless you want to give up walking all together. As for your purse, it can’t be too big – a cute clutch that is small but large enough to carry all your essentials (and a few extra safety pins just in case). But you can’t hold it as one hand is constantly holding up your outfit, so you hunt around for the perfect one to sling over your shoulder. Phew, I am exhausted!!

Then comes Walking in a saree. A heavy sari can really weigh you down and make you walk at a snail’s pace. Plus, there’s always that fear of the entire thing coming undone with every step you take. I can’t imagine falling down in front of all.

Those safety pins!! No matter how many compliments are given, there is always that constant fear of stepping on some fabric and pulling apart those pleats and the whole thing unravelling at the slightest of movements. The fact that a few safety pins have the power to stop a wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen can be a pretty daunting thought, it’s running through your mind the entire evening, you’re a bit worried about zoning out of conversations about anything else.

I can’t imagine exposing. Yes my back, tummy and cleavage, BIGTIME NO!! With your back on display and your curves being flaunted to the world, it puts a certain pressure on you for your body to look oh-so-perfect. In other words, you spend the entire evening holding your breath and sucking in your tummy to fake it. It’s a Herculean task to chat, eat, drink, dance, and walk while holding in your stomach. And, frankly, it is quite awkward.

Nasty Pallu. The most annoying part about wearing a sari is the pallu that just refuses to stay atop the shoulder! You barely move your arm in the hope that it won’t keep sliding off and exposing cleavage or embarrassing stretch marks.

Restrictions. You can’t walk fast, let alone run; you can barely show off your dance moves; and you’re kind of handicapped by one hand having to always be busy holding up your pleats or keeping your pallu in place. All in all, it’s a pretty demanding experience that really does take lots of practice. Tripping over the saree, another big fear.

Everybody considers saree to be so much traditional and respectful, despite revealing the navel, back, tummy and the deep blouse. Irrelevant of all these things, one’s clothes is one’s wish; she should wear what she likes and what she is comfortable in. I tried and I failed, I know I cannot be in peace with saree and avoiding it is the best solution. Vulgarity and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For some bikini is decent for others salwar kameez or a burqa can be cheap or indecent.

“This post is for Day 26 of UBC and Daily Chatter

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Bride wanted

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‘I love you’ that is how his emails for all time started and ended.

Those 3 words did the magic on her, making her blush pink.

I love you so much. I can’t imagine spending my life without you.

Never leave me because I’ll never let you go.” further his email read.

It was just a few days back that she had responded to this ad in a matrimonial website –
‘Handsome, distinguished gentleman seeking beautiful, mature and educated woman…’

He introduced himself to her over the emails as ‘P’.

He took her by surprise through his gifts – a pair of white Monolo Blahnik shoes and black Chanel bag.

He swept her off her feet with his voice, and made all the clichés in the world happen.

Whenever she spoke to P, she felt she had a connection with the voice.

But the fairytale had a surprise lined up.

The waiter pulled out a chair and she sat down.

“Would you like a menu?”

“No thanks, I’m waiting for my date, sher replied.

She dressed in green as per P’s wish.

He came from behind and grounded his hands on her shoulder.

‘Kamya’, P whispered romantically in her ears.

She slowly turned around. “Grandpa?”

In his hand, he had a bouquet of red roses and box of chocolates for his bride to be.

“This post is for Day 25 of UBC and Daily Chatter

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Better late than never’

The proverb ‘Better late than never’ is very apt in my life. Love happened lately to me but I thank my stars that it happened else I would have been deprived of this wonderful sensation. I like this feeling whenever I think about her, from the time when work keeps us apart from not talking, to the lunch hour daily to get back to her when she takes a break from her routine just for me. Suddenly amidst our conversation we both pop ‘I love you’ to each other and with that a new direction is taken and it leads to romance where we fall in love with each other all over again. I had really missed all this in my life earlier. It is not long of knowing her but I feel I have known her for decades. She was never a stranger for me. We are best of the best friends who know each other more than we know one another. We discover a new thing about us which makes our relationship strong and the feelings more pure. She is a matured thinker and I still behave childish. She does get annoyed with this quality of mine but I wonder why she doesn’t scream or shout at me but tolerates me. Perhaps this is her love and I feel like pulling her close to me and hug her tightly. She truly loves me in the way I am and never tells me ‘grow up’.

i-love-herI love her for reasons beyond the count. Our relationship base has grown strong which doesn’t give space for any misunderstanding. I love teasing her but till date it has not taken any nasty shape. Her best quality is she immediately hints me whenever I go wrong and manages the situation before it gets goofed up. We do have our differences but those just don’t matter and are usually weak. I never thought we both would be so compatible personalities. This tells we are made for each other, truly soul mates. Since the day we have known one another, we have been honest about our feelings which made our bond so strong. I am going to pop up the marriage question with her very soon.

We, especially she is my life and she means the world to me. I dream about our life together where she is mine forever. I am on days counting spree to meet her, hold her hand and never let her go far from me. Today is 25th and it marks our monthly anniversary of our relationship and I am sure of celebrating months, years and decades with her.

By,
Nadaan Parinda (His pseudonym)
He is a non-compulsive thinker. A perseverant by choice. A new writer and winner in the block. He likes the weird surprises life throws at him. An Internet nut with interests in Travelling and Photography. He can be contacted on Twitter @nadanprnda. Your comments will be appreciated.

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If loving coffee is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

coffee-and-bookYou see, while I like many things, I love very few things. But this love makes me feel all warm. it’s right up there with showering and brushing my teeth as a daily necessity. While many may laugh at my obsession, others will nod their head in agreement.

I love the taste of coffee. I don’t drink coffee primarily because I want to be more awake or aware. Of course, those are positive side effects of the drink. However, I enjoy it more for the ritual and the taste. I drink coffee like some people may drink wine. I love sitting down, grabbing a book, and brewing up a cup of coffee. To me coffee has always been more about relaxing than it has about waking up and getting more energy. I enjoy it slowly.

Not just at home, when I am away out, I prefer having my cup of coffee than tea. What makes me spend money at a coffee shop? Is it just to have a taste of luxury like what other people say or is it really a great hang-out place to unwind especially for non-alcoholic drinkers like me? Both!!

From the wall and furnishings color combinations, cups and glasses, tables, chairs and couches, creative lamps and reflected lights, coffee houses to me seem like a mini art gallery that’s why people love taking pictures while there. I love people watching. I observe total strangers in their preferred drink, dessert, gadget, book, fashion sense, the way they talk, their set of friends all these show a glimpse on their personality and lifestyle. Coffee shops are some of my favorite places where I share my ideas and hopes openly and comfortably because of its ambience and the quality of talk that could happen in this cozy environment. It’s where great thinkers and talkers converge.

As you push down the press’s handle slowly tiny bubbles float to the surface, the grinds amass more on the bottom. The press is ready- freshest, most pure cup of coffee. A bite of a freshly baked cookie then go on to slurp coffee while the 2 flavours combine; you taste flavours in both the coffee and cookie you had never realized existed. Sitting back in your chair with pure satisfaction, you breathe deeply and savour the fragrance. “Hmmm…..the smell of freshly ground coffee”.

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