November 25 2016

Anger is NOT a choice


We all have been victims of anger at some point of time, no matter how calm and composed we tend to be there are certain things which make us angry and in turn makes us upset each time we face such a situation. We are not at all unaware of the disastrous effects of anger in our lives; we all are affected by it in one way or the other. The ultimate coolness of a person depends on how they handle such situations. The reactions to such a situation define the level of maturity of that person.

Some of us tend to react to meagre issues with the peak of their temperament while many of us handle the worst kind of situation in an utmost composed manner. Such a thing also depends upon the perspectives of that person with respect to the issue concerned, but surely it defines their mental state on that particular time. However, depending on the situation as well as the foretold consequences, not everyone holds to maintain their calm at all times, despite being too calm and mature.

It happened to me recently where I had lost my calm and behaved really harsh with someone it should not have. Though I prefer to keep calm at all times trying to handle the situations with a mature and peaceful approach, but in this case I had completely lost my calm and yelled at the person badly. Now, when I think of the situation I realise how worst it could have gone if the person had not handled the situation with a mature approach. Had the person been short tempered like me, the situation could have gone beyond control and I might have remorse through rest of my life.

This incident has taught me much about management of anger.

(1) No matter how worse a situation could be, one needs to think several times with a calm mind before confronting on the person. One should not react immediately, especially when they are real angry and at peak of their temper.

(2) A peaceful rejuvenation of the sequence of events in a calm and clear mind shall always help one to handle one situation in a befitting manner.

(3) When you are at the receiving end, you should not react to one’s anger immediately, rather convince them that you would look into the matter and get back when both are in a peaceful state of mind.

(4) It is better to keep silent rather being provocative when someone loses their temper on you.

(5) Shouting or yelling at someone is never a resolve on any issue, rather it complicates the issue more and the results could really be worse.

(6) Sometimes when you are upset with things and are really angry, prefer being silent and take time to think on pros and cons of the issue; this could yield fruitful solution to the problem itself.

Anger is the worst and disastrous enemy of a relationship. No matter how many years it took one to build up a happy and peaceful relationship, anger and reaction of a fraction of time could completely destroy the bottom of it. Sometimes, it leaves such a wound that can never be healed or repaired. The only way to avoid such a disaster is to keep calm and rethink again and again before reacting on any issue.

Being *Nadaan* @npreads (Twitter Handle)

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Posted November 25, 2016 by Novemberschild in category "Guest Posts

About the Author

I write a lot, which keeps me off the streets and out of trouble. There is always something to write about, always a new story to craft. Not writing, for me, is like trying to hold back a sneeze. Learning to write was the most powerful influence in my life. I can still remember the awe I felt when I realized I could put real words onto paper and tell out a story. From that first ‘a-ha’ moment I knew I wanted to write.


  1. By Alok Singhal on

    Worthy points, ma’am. Better to step away in the heat of things…when you come back, the situation might already be normal.

  2. By Ranjini on

    Oh yes. It is always best to be quiet while angry. As someone said, never take any decisions while you are too angry or too happy.

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