December 22 2016

When angry, count four. When very angry, swear

I am a one-woman truth squad. I believed in “radical honesty”. Liars triggered my anger. It took me a long time, and many wounded friendships, to realize that my truth may be different from yours, and we can both be right from our own viewpoint. I became that way because as a child I felt that adults always lied. I had had some traumatic experiences that led me to this belief. Today I realize that if I get angry at something someone does, I need to look at myself: often a trait I can’t stand in others is something I dislike about myself. I feel myself starting to go into a rage when I’m lied to especially when it’s a loved one doing the lying. I think it stems from hurt from being lied to in the past. I feel very hurt & let down. Also, it makes me wonder what else this person could possibly be lying to me about. I’m pretty sure we are also angry at ourselves for allowing the person to get away with lying to us, by not being able to do anything about it. We can’t lie like they do, and so it’s not as though we can pay them back with our own lie to them, and so we feel disadvantaged. I think the person who constantly lies needs the help. We just need to be able to get these liars out of our lives, so that we can lead happier, more stable lives.

In order to maintain the pleasantness of any social situation, people have to lie. Questions like ‘How do I look?’, ‘Am I getting Fat?’ or ‘Did you like my gift?’ are bound to fetch lies. You have got to accept that there are certain truths about everyone that are best kept hidden. It is much easier to simply lie than to share embarrassing truths about oneself. Sometime truth can invite a long discourse of unneeded advice, further questions or criticism. The crisis of time is universal to all people and some people have no other option than lying to avoid long conversations. The social needs of people often make them tell lies. Many people succumb to peer pressure and fabricate lies about themselves just to fit in better. Lies can be a small part of big schemes of conniving people. People can get really elaborate with lies in order to change an opinion of someone. Lying is so common that some people even lie just for the sake of it. The reasons for lying are as vast as the human imagination and no list can possibly encompass all the reasons for which humans lie.


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