June 14 2017

Self Acceptance

When you care for yourself without worring about the world

Many times in life we face situations and circumstances that challenge our self perceived value. There are two things that collectively determine who we are at a particular point in our life:-

how and what we think of ourselves

do our actions align with the above statement

When somebody criticises us on something that may not even be true, our world seems to come to an end. We get shattered. If the person standing in front of you in a bank line pushes you and tells you to maintain distance, it is somewhat fine. But when the same person later makes an offhanded comment on uneducated people not knowing how to stand in a queue, you feel hurt. A person you don’t even know, their words poke your entire self esteem and you get into a spiral of negative self talk. That is how fragile the human psyche is. After years of learning, doing appreciable work, having friends and lovers around, we get hurt by such small things.

What we think of ourselves motivates us to do what we want to do in life. When a lady whose dream is to be a beauty queen eats junk food, smokes cigarettes, doesn’t exercise and turns obese, it somewhere affects her value of herself. Her identity is tied to being healthy and aware of her lifestyle choices but her actions don’t seem to correspond with what she dreams. That leaves her vulnerable. And when she will be called names, her reactions will be negative and her value in her own eyes shall diminish. Her aspirations and actions conflict with each other and that makes her doubt her capabilities and worth.

When nobody likes us we want to feel liked. It gives us an immediate happiness boost when somebody compliments or appreciates us. What we don’t realise that by this mindset we are living our lives at the mercy of other people’s judgement of us. Of course it matters what others think of us (majority of us are not psychopaths who don’t care about people’s opinion of themselves). What matters more is what we think of ourselves. People who genuinely matter in our life should be the ones we look upto. The world is full of people who won’t like what we wear, how we look and will joke on how big our nostrils are. And that’s fine. It is their choice to say what they want and our choice lies in staying true to our core values.

When we think of ourselves in accepting light and make sure to act the way that makes us feel expressed, there remains more hope for joy in our lives. Changing who you are in order to please the world will not make any difference. What shall bring considerable conscientiousness to our lives is behaving the way we believe ourselves to be and conjugating our self perception with our actions. Freedom lies in being caring to our inner selves.

About the blogger: Arpit Chhikara loves to write, roam around, sleep and does whatever there is in between. You might find him in social events telling stories or watching art movies. He is young and curious about things that pertain to human behavior. Other than writing, he plans for big things many of which stay in his fantasies. Some of them turn real. Either way, his plans leave him with a story to tell, be it of success or failure. He doesn’t want to be another cog in machine and is working on to gain worldly wisdom through rich experiences in life.

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