January 12 2018


For the past 5 years I have sat back and regretted many relationships in my past – romantic and otherwise too. I always thought to myself why I put myself through those painful relationships. I’m one of those girls who always wanted to get married so when I met the man I thought he was my dream guy, I locked him down fast. We got engaged and 12 months later we ended our relationship. I never really got closure because it was such a toxic relationship, so to me it wasn’t worth the tears or even thinking about ever again. But lately, I’ve been thinking about how that one man and that one relationship with him and his family has changed me so much. And I want to thank him.

Thank you for being a part of my life at some point even if it was just for some months. I believe that certain people come into our lives to change us and make us better, and for me you were one of them. You taught me how to be strong while I was emotionally and verbally abused and harassed beyond imagination. You taught me that my anxiety is hard for certain people to handle and I understand and that it will take special people or one special man to love me with my imperfections and flaws, who would actually ask me the story behind my scars than criticise me for having them or treat me as an untouchable.

I’m glad our engagement failed and I am more happy that I took the step to break the marriage before it happened and walked out of the relationship. I never broke hearts, but because of you I know what that heartbreak feels like. I know what it’s like to plan your entire future and have it all taken away in front of your eyes. I know how to prevent those feelings ever happening again. I stopped dreaming, I stopped planning. I live in the present without worries of the future. In all honesty, I’m glad it all happened because it’s another life experience that helped me grow and mature to the woman I am today.

All those fights, larger than life ego of your, the power struggle, and the embarrassing public uproars. Without those arguments I would have never known how wrong for me you were. I learned since then what actions are worth the fight and what ones are. Those arguments, those big traumatic scenes where my anxiety got the better of me, have really made me a better person today. The nights I lay in bed crying making me realize I never want to go through that again. So yes, our poisonous relationship changed me.

In the end, we didn’t make it as a couple and I am so happy with that failure.  To be able to get closure is the most important thing you can do for yourself. So girls, when you’re sitting back thinking about revenge on your ex man, take a minute and really think, is it worth it? I mean they did after all help shape you into the beautiful woman you are today and will surely lead you to your future man. So do not stay mad at the pasts forever, when you need conclusion, remember this – I would not be the well rounded woman I am today, and I would not know what it’s like to feel that pain. It made me strong. I am the woman when her feet hit the floor each morning the devil says “oh crap she’s up”. That is who I am proud to be.

This post has been written for as a part of #ChatterPrompts’ 

589 total views, 6 views today

Novemberschild © 2018 | All rights reserved

Posted January 12, 2018 by Novemberschild in category "Prompts

About the Author

I write a lot, which keeps me off the streets and out of trouble. There is always something to write about, always a new story to craft. Not writing, for me, is like trying to hold back a sneeze. Learning to write was the most powerful influence in my life. I can still remember the awe I felt when I realized I could put real words onto paper and tell out a story. From that first ‘a-ha’ moment I knew I wanted to write.


  1. By Shamik on

    Another fabulous post from you. You are such an inspiration for many such people are struggling to come out of a failed relationship. Thank you for sharing your thoughts Roms…

  2. By Lata Sunil on

    Roms you are very strong. And sharing it here will surely help someone to make that decision before it is too late.

  3. By Elise Cohen Ho on

    Your message is so empowering. I love that you share so authentically. This type of sharing can really help so many people to get over rough times.

  4. By Ashvini Naik on

    You’re such an inspiration to those who only choose to dwell in their past lives & sulk about failing.

    More power to you, Romila!

  5. By Anagha Yatin on

    What doesnt break us, surely makes us. And I so believe in it.
    Very proud of you Romila that you opted out of the man who so not deserved you…and opted for “life”!

  6. By Natasha on

    More power to you Roms.
    Bad relationships only teach us how to value the good ones. We need to go through them to appreciate the good that will come our way. May you meet the person who values and loves you for you you are.

  7. By Amod Mangudkar on

    Beautiful message to those who waste half of the life in their bad past life they had been through. Also you have beautifully shown how to see and thank one’s bad past life. Too good. I am touched.

  8. By anupriya on

    Not been here on your blog for a while. But am glad I read this one. Lovely post and perfect example of how it is important to learn from experiences and move on. Life cannot stop for one person or failure. Kudos to You for having the courage to write about it.

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