The Freedom To Be

I don’t understand why the term “freedom” is always related politically and not personally? #FreedomToBe is the ability to do whatever I want, as long as it doesn’t contravene on anyone else’s right to do whatever they want. Being your own person requires independence of thought, feeling, and action.

I am 34, over qualified academically (as most of the corporate companies have told me), unmarried, and successful as Writer-Blogger-Editor-Author-Brand Consultant. I am the only one from my school batch – Passed 10th in 1998 who is not married and I am being constantly judged for this. I am happy right now but it does not mean I am not open to getting married. My life is not empty; it has wonderful people. However, I do find myself intermittently lonely and wish for a partner. I occupy for my part with better things in life rather than taking all those negative stereotypes a single woman is always being said about and remain self-assured that the things that I would like to see in my future will happen.

That is pretty hard! No call it, the hardest thing about being single in the 30s is not actually being single, it’s putting up with the constant bombardment of judgements, comments, criticisms and the pressure to “settle down” almost all of which comes from relatives.

While the insensible remarks hurt (such as you should think about freezing your eggs, have you decided on adoption, why aren’t you married or we will find you a man), it is so hard for me to take all these comments from the people who think they have all the right on me to tell me that it is my fault for being single or unmarried.

All these bits and pieces make me question my own happiness sometimes. My life is pretty great. But when these types of awful comments are passed I ask myself Am I really happy being single? I snap out of this question instantaneously, but still, it’s a something I wish I don’t have to think about it again.

I always wonder what forces people to judge single women? Is it because they really think they’re doing us a service by passing comments? Do they really believe my life is empty? Or are they trying to substantiate their views on my life choices? There is in all probability no answer. The separations and the divorce rate among couples are alarming high. What is it about getting into relationship or marriage that still compels people to judge the singles, especially women, to feel that it is the end of happiness and success? I don’t understand why it is ok to judge someone’s single status, but definitely not ok to judge someone’s relationship?

Whenever I think about the judgements passed on me for being single I wish I could also judge them for being in a relationship or being married to a wife beater, alcoholic, psychic, dominating and controlling partners. Seeing these situations I am forced to ask are we so smitten with the idea of marriage no matter how good or bad, is better than being single and enjoying freedom?

I think that women, married and single, should benefit from her freedom, joys and struggles that comes with the relationship status. A single woman should have that freedom to talk about her life without being automatically judged as miserable, or to be able to share her happiness without someone thinking or saying “Yes, but you don’t have a husband or a man in your life.”

I live among very judgmental and traditionalist types, they can’t help themselves since they pretty much did everything by society’s book so they see me – single and successful, and they have issues. I receive hard hitting judging comments from my extended family and first cousins and all these bothers my mother, who is so worried all the time that her 30-something daughter isn’t married. That being said, I want to get married and have a child and I am very much open right now for it, but it is all about the right person coming at the right time. To those who feel judged and really feel weighed down by it, I support you to keep your head up and find the right one for you when it’s right for you, and not anyone else.

72 total views, 3 views today

Worries of a Blogger

No blogger is perfect. I find myself worrying about how my blog looks, whether my content is appealing enough, or if I even like my blog way too many times. Right now I can say I am happy. Blogging is becoming very competitive these days because it is so common and becoming so popular globally. Every blogger will have its doubts whether they think their blog is good enough, successful enough, or even worth having a read through.

Running a blog involves a lot of interaction and promoting through social media and this can be very time consuming. I really don’t struggle to find time to sit down and dedicate some time to social media and engaging with followers and other bloggers but others may find it problematic. Social media is your main platform to getting your blog known and more popular so making sure you have a few hours a day to spend promoting your latest post on Twitter.

I am always pointing out things I want to change and comparing mine to others which is definitely something I should NOT be doing. I need to keep reminding myself that this blog is mine and it should reflect onto my personality. Just need to keep remembering your blog is YOURS and no blog is just like it.

I often find myself looking at blog templates on various websites and I need to stop because I’ve changed my blog layout one too many times. I love my template at the moment but I keep discovering cool layouts which I want, but they all come at heavy cost, sad times! I think I will want to have a big relaunch in the future but I am happy with my blog look right now, and I need to keep telling myself that.

What are your struggles being a blogger? Let us share and discuss.

82 total views, 6 views today

What’s The Point In Blogging?

I’m currently the busiest I have ever been in my life. 14th year is no joke: not only stressful but time consuming. But, despite that I’ve still been uploading a blog post a day. I’ve came to the conclusion that blogging is extremely important to me. It can be a bit of a misunderstood hobby and to some it may seem a waste of time. But I’m adamant that blogging has lots of bonuses!

I’ve always been a reader and when I was younger I was a keen writer as well. Writing my blog is just an extension of my love of both reading and writing. Blogging shows an ability to write to a different audience.

My self-confidence has improved dramatically. When I first started blogging I didn’t really expect it to go very far. I remember hitting 50 followers and thinking that is was the coolest thing in the world! a few years later I have a combined social media following of about 3000.  That’s pretty crazy! Knowing that so many people have put their trust and confidence into wanting to hear what I’ve got to say has been a pretty big factor in improving my self-confidence. I’m 10 times the person I was when I started my blog and I think it’s really helped me to be more confident when I’m speaking. When writing a personal blog like this, it’s really easy to start viewing other bloggers and readers as your friends. I’ve made some wonderful friends through writing that I’ve met either through events or organising meet ups ourselves. I’ve been blogging for almost 14 years now and I’ve blogged about some pretty important things in my life. One day it’s going to be really interesting to look back on these posts (and maybe a little cringe). A lifestyle blog is essentially a big online diary (although thankfully not as horrendously embarrassing as some of my preteen diaries which I hope never see the light of day again). Life is busy but my love for blogging means it won’t get left behind. I’ve just got to keep on keeping on.

77 total views, 4 views today

Handwritten letters

I have a zeal for pen and paper. I sent letters to pen pals. I’d stuff odd gifts like pressed flowers or my small art work pieces with my letters to them.

8 days back I opened my post box and found a little envelope. I flipped it over to see the return address. It was for me from Rameswaram, Tamil Nadu. That letter restarted my passion to write letters again. It was from a retired Post master who’d written me a letter for my article which he had read in a magazine.

I pulled out the letter, preserving the return address. I nodded myself often reading the good words uncle had written to me. When I was done, I re-read it all over again to make sure I hadn’t missed anything. The next morning, I pulled out my notepad and I started writing, what it was like to get a letter after decades and few words of gratitude. I tucked my reply in a neat package to mail him back. It made me realise how much I miss writing letters.

The letter made me think that I can set time to write, reach out to my pen and sweep someone who will open a mailbox somewhere and be surprised to see a letter from me. And that person will get to unfold it and read it over, may be on a porch, at a coffee shop or on a jet. And may be that person will write me back.

Top post on IndiBlogger, the biggest community of Indian Bloggers

95 total views, 4 views today


I like attention. By that I do not mean that I want to be the centre of attention at a party. Or that I want everyone to look and listen to me all the time. No. By that I mean that I like to know that people care enough about me to give me their time. But when this happens there is also a problem. I get attached. And I get attached quickly.

When someone spends time talking to me I start to get attached. This means that if we start talking and we get on together then I will more than likely want to speak to you all the time. And when you decide that you’re done talking to me I will find it difficult to let go. This becomes a problem when people decide that they no longer want me in their life. When you have people in your life that decide, one day, to let you go without so much as an explanation it is possibly the worst thing. Well it is for me.

This has happened a lot over the years. There are people that I thought I would be friends with forever and now they don’t talk to me at all. As in I never hear from them. I have finally learned to let people go but it is not an easy thing for me to do. If I get attached to you then I need you to tell me to back off. In a nice way. I need you to tell me that you no longer want to speak to me. And I need you to tell me what the problem is.

I don’t have very many friends that I can talk to so that means I tend to latch onto people. It means that I form attachments very quickly when I think that someone could become a good friend. I will either get attached very quickly or not get attached at all. There are very few times when I will actually be in the middle.

Forming such quick attachments to people is something that I am working on. I really am trying to stop getting attached so quickly but unfortunately that is not something that I can really control.

Do you get attached to people quickly? Can you share any tips with me on how to stop? Let me know in the comments below!

124 total views, 3 views today

Things that keep me Inspired

Reading blogs 
Being one of the most popular answers, reading blogs really helps me find inspiration. There’s nothing better than seeing fellow bloggers doing well and producing great work, and after seeing them it makes me want to be just as successful and creative with my blog. Reading blogs not only helps me come up with ideas, but perhaps also new photo layouts or changing the layout to my posts, or even just the font.
Exploring the outside world
There’s life outside the house and exploring it allows your mind be imaginative, creative and positive. There’s so much inspiration outside, maybe it’s just on your doorstep. Go out and explore this beautiful world, come up with different ideas. Maybe take a notepad with you just incase you pick up some ideas along the way. I tend to make notes on my phone if I ever get a sudden thought or two.
Pretty sure everyone finds Pinterest useful in some way or another. It just has everything you need to find inspiration for a post. If you’re struggling with post ideas then explore through Pinterest, it works wonders. It sure has helped me with posts in the past, and I’m positive I’ll be using it plenty in the future whenever I have bloggers block.

104 total views, 2 views today