Conversations

Who doesn’t like good conversations? I believe conversation is food for the soul. Every good conversation starts with good listening. One doesn’t need a lot of people to talk with , well that for me would be chaos. The smaller the circle, more the fun. # conversations #good talks

Like it or not but conversations cannot be avoided nor ignored. One interacts with people on a daily basis and its necessary to an extent  because that’s when you feel you’re active and ticking. Now , how long the conversation extends depends on one’s ability to accept , respect and tolerate the opposite person’s viewpoints and them as a person  on the whole. That’s where the beauty and skills of a person lies. Nobody likes to talk to a  person who brags,disrespectful , who uses double meaning words . I mean, admit it , it’s a huge turn off! And there are some  basic etiquette to be followed during a conversation like treat everyone with respect, remember to say Please and Thank you, don’t interrupt others while talking and the most relevant thing to do  in today’s world is, “ DON’T LOOK AT YOUR MOBILE PHONE OR TALK CONTINUOUSLY ON THE PHONE WHEN YOU ARE CONVERSING FACE TO FACE WITH A REAL PERSON UNLESS IT’S AN URGENT MATTER”. People fail to do this .

Conversations shouldn’t be of a serious nature, at least for me. It should be free flowing, spontaneous and more or less on topics that both the persons enjoy to speak on.  In short, it shouldn’t be boring.

And talking about speaking, whatever language or tone   it is that’s opted for speaking , should be clean and respectful and never demeaning one another. I think everyone should agree on that aspect. You can’t converse with a person with ill manners and oh yes, the grammar should be perfect ( for me at least). Is that asking for too much?

Talks need not be on a daily basis but when you do talk with that person, there shouldn’t be a feeling of distance or ‘no-topic’ issue😕else it feels like we are doing an obligation sort of by speaking to them and vice- versa which in my opinion isn’t a great thing! If you do have one such person to talk with  who brings out  the best in you , who is willing to bear your mood- swings, who bears your nonsensical  topics, who doesn’t have ego issues , believe me , they are keepers. And this feeling  should be the same for them too  else it’s just a dead end of talks!!

Positivity, good vibes, a great chemistry should develop when we in are in conversation with the opposite sex. It need not happen instantly as everything takes its own course of  time but one should get a feeling of happiness and satisfaction and not feel as though you’re  mentally and emotionally drained.

And even if you do not have any such person in your life to share and talk out your problems , it’s completely OK to be alone rather than being in a stressful friendship/ relation cos no one can understand you the way you do yourself and one need not explain and chase people just for them to be in your lives.

Being alone is also a power in itself.

A lovely quote to sum up this article would be:

About the Guest writer:  Savitha is an aspiring writer, Tea addict, Music is her love and she is a compliment lover. She can be contacted on Twitter and her Blog.

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My Arranged Love story by Thomas Scarborough

I was born in England, in Yorkshire. I see myself now in a photo as a young boy, holding my mother’s hand in the snow. My wife Ester was born in Africa. She grew up on a remote plateau, under the burning African sun.

We would never have known each other by accident. We came together by arrangement, when my dying wife chose Ester to be her “replacement”. It was a most unusual experience, which led to situations one would usually never know. I sketch just one of them here, and how it taught me.

The first time I went to visit Ester’s childhood home on the plateau, we drove through a small town, then crossed a stream over a low bridge. We wound our way over a treacherous dirt pass, and through a farmyard, and pulled to a halt.

A wiry, bearded man came down the mountainside. Ester kissed him on the lips. He briefly took my hand, then dropped it. He didn’t look at me. He didn’t speak to me.

Ester wiped away tears. She said to the man, “Where are the potatoes?” He said, “There are two sacks of potatoes in the shed—but one of them is rotten.” They exchanged a few more words about potatoes, then the man walked back up the mountain.

“Who was that?” I asked. “It was my father,” said Ester.

Her father? Then why didn’t he speak to me? Why didn’t he look at me? And what happened to the customary endearments? “Good to see you, Dad. Love you, Dad.”

That first meeting with Ester’s father seemed to encapsulate one of our great cultural contrasts: a kiss on the lips, and some talk about potatoes—but where were the customary endearments? I discovered that, in many ways, Ester’s African culture was non-verbal.

As an Englishman, I was taught to articulate things. On the one hand, thoughts—on the other hand, feelings. It is more or less expected of all of us to express our thoughts accurately, and our feelings precisely. Not so in African culture.

At first this absence of thought and emotion—at it seemed to me—was hard for me. Especially, as our relationship deepened, Ester seldom said anything that seemed to mean anything—about us. I became disheartened.

But the answer revealed itself slowly. I realised more and more that it was her face which spoke, and her body. Ester had an enormously expressive face. Her cheeks would quiver. Her eyes would go dark. She would purse her lips. She would put her fingers to her face. And she had the sunniest smile.

In fact, there were so many visual cues that I thought that I would never pick them all up. Yet in time, I was surprised how fast I did—until it became second nature for me to understand her without words.

Not only that, but I came to understand her culture. A whole new world opened up to me—in people’s faces, and movements—in the shop, on the street, or in weekly worship. I had been blind to it all before.

It was a difficult but charming lesson. There is treasure in other cultures, to which we may be quite blind. At first it may all make little sense to us—even distress us, or shock us—until it all becomes clear.

About the Guest writer: Thomas Scarborough is a Congregational minister and a philosophy editor. He is the author of An Arranged Love, the true story of an arranged marriage in Africa. His book is on Amazon.

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On Little Monsters and Migraines! By Vinita Nayar

I had friends over the other night for dinner and, as we flitted from topic to topic, during our conversation we started discussing kids. Let me confess, I’m more of a dog lover than a kid lover but I get on swimmingly well with little children. Nevertheless, while naughty kids are fine, when it comes to little monsters, well…the less said the better!

I don’t know whether it’s that times have changed. Today there are many single kids with no siblings. The open spaces in cities have shrunk, making it difficult to send kids out to play so maybe they have oodles of extra energy. And then, there’s the smartphone – that enticing, oh-so-addictive device with its videos and cartoons to transport kids to fantasy lands of their choice.

I was brought up with that old adage firmly drilled into me – kids should be seen but not heard. As kids, we never went for most parties with our parents and if there were parties at home, we’d troop out, wish everyone and troop back into our bedroom. If we did hang around, one glare or gesture from either parent was enough to send us scooting back. So, I guess we never got the opportunity to interrupt adults or run around the living room screeching like banshees. And if we had, we would have been ticked off right royally!

There are some kids I just love. They come home, play with my dogs, pepper me with questions, narrate long-winded tales and keep me entertained and engaged. But there are the others whose visits I dread. They come with their fond parents who believe that everything their children do is just so adorable. They proceed to jump on my sofa cushions with their dirty shoes. They scream. They run helter-skelter through my living room, and all the while I’m in a state of tension wondering what they are going to break. They pull my dogs’ tails and ears despite being told repeatedly not to do that. They don’t allow for any meaningful conversation among adults because all they do is interrupt – constantly. After a point, I end up with a huge headache! And through all this bad behaviour, the parents either look on, smiling indulgently, or may occasionally, in weak tones, ask them to stop. But the kids don’t, and the parents shrug and give up with an apologetic smile that is actually saying aren’t they just so cute?

So, coming back to the conversation we were having, we concluded that in most cases, it’s not the kids who are to blame; it’s the parents. The parents who allow, encourage and feed this bad behaviour. Dear parents, one sincere request from someone who suffers migraines when she is around little monsters – if you can’t get your kids to behave, you should leave them at home! There! I said it!

About the Guest Writer: Lazing on a sofa with a strong cup of coffee, reading a good book, with the sound of raindrops in the background is my idea of a great time. And snuggling up to a fluffy puppy or playing with my dogs is sheer bliss. Listening to music transports me to heaven. Writing and editing are my job, but I enjoy the process so much that it’s like recreation! It’ soothing, enjoyable and a constant learning process – This is Vinita Nayar and she is a just a tweet away here

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Smart Phones

Everyone owns one and wish to upgrade to the recent ones to whatever’s available in the market . Love it or hate it but can’t ignore it – that’s the tagline nowadays to be used for owning a smart phone – #smartphones #blessingorcurse.

This device needs no introduction! And each one of us are “proud” owners of this nowadays. If you know anyone who doesn’t own one can be considered a ” rare species” but I consider it a blessing if there’s even one single person who is not possessing this. This has in one way made our lives miserable. And I’m sure many would agree with me. Gone are the days when people used to talk with each other face to face , come over to homes visiting and talking for hours over many topics. Now , anywhere you go or anyone you see is either busy taking selfies or so engrossed in their own devices that they fail to notice their surroundings or what’s happening in others lives. Its become a total addiction. The family getting together for dinner seems to have become extinct, conversations have become texting and finally reduced to emoji’s.

Anywhere you visit, the scene is like this:

Family dinner table ends up like this:

Real facial conversations are taken over by emoji’s. Every expression has an emoji so people have forgotten the art of emoting, expressing themselves. Use emojis , matter solved!! The other day, all of us ( myself and family) went to meet up with a friend after a very long time . Thought the children would be excited to see each other and would soon break their silence and start chatting . But they weren’t speaking and were constantly asking for mobile phones from us parents as if to break the ice! Now , mobile phones have become friendship starters . Yes that explains the chatting and interaction with unknown people on the social networking sites too! And thanks to whatsapp , facebook , youtube , Snapchat, Instagram and many other such sites , we are literally living with our phones as our soulmates and partners . Is this healthy or not?

Everyone knows the answer to that is a big NO. But …. we are prey to this addiction. Literally for everything in our lives we are dependent on our phones . Be it banking matters, online payments, talking with our near and dear ones , OUR MOBILE PHONES ARE OUR DARLINGS and they have taken over our lives completely . We humans have become aliens to each other and accepted the alien as our own. Irony!

We are forever waiting for some notification that may or may not come , some message , some call and looking towards our phones every single time thus distracting us from our real purpose and tasks to do .We refuse to switch it off or put it on silent mode . But at the same time it does come with advantages . Its taken us closer to the outside world . Interactions with everyone has made our life simpler. Payments can be done with a single touch of our finger rather than earlier times when standing in serpentine queues were the only options. But then with every new invention comes pros and cons and it has to be gracefully accepted and we need to move along with time and be updated always. But ultimately how we use those new inventions ( in this case, phones) depends on us finally. If used without affecting our personal time and space then its a blessing else it becomes an addiction and a curse. So, choose wisely.

Excuse me, I think my phone’s buzzing . Wonder whose notification is it?
* Leaves immediately for it . Excitement all over my face*

About the Guest writer:  Savitha is an aspiring writer, Tea addict, Music is her love and she is a compliment lover. She can be contacted on Twitter and her Blog.

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5 Things I Tell Myself to Ace My Peace of Mind

I am a firm believer of every individual being the architect of their own destiny. ‘I am, what I choose to be’, or ‘I do what I do’ are the life philosophies that I live by. To react to actions of others’ is a personal choice. I may choose to indulge in mud-slinging or I may choose to rise above petty arguments and come out more dignified. But how do I check my reactions in the heat of a situation? And even if I manage to keep my mouth in check, how do I detach my mind from getting affected. Here I share five things I tell myself when I know I have a choice to make.

Stay Calm or Keep Kaam se Kaam

We have all come across this emoji and probably had a hearty laugh over it. But ever stopped to wonder how effective a barrier this adage is when you need to check your reactions. Next time, when you feel the voice in your head, jumping to come out and express displeasure over something that is beyond your control, show it your palm face and tell it to deal with the situation without creating any drama.

Love is a part of life, not heart of life

As much as we may wish to associate all matters love with the heart, the crux of the matter is that nothing is worth compromising this beautiful life you have. By love, I do not mean only the romantic love. Love includes every person/relationship that you render importance to. Trust me, no person is worth your tears. Gather the shreds of your broken heart and set them in a centrifugal motion. As they revolve, the pieces will all attach themselves to each other and give birth to a new transformed heart. Life doesn’t stop!

I am a Ripe Mango

I got this one from my Pranic Healing Course for understanding the meaning of soul. They actually call it the ‘Kachchaa Aam’ philosophy. As per this philosophy, whenever you feel that you are being pushed beyond the edge due to another person’s behavior and you think that you are on the right, do not give in to resentment. Instead, empathize with the person for being a less evolved soul. An even better course of action would be, bless her so that she learns her lessons asap. And then practice the above two pointers.

I am my Favorite

The key to happiness is self-love. This is one trait that can help you overcome the biggest challenges in your relationships. If you suffer from any kind complex or self-doubt, you are likely to give rise to a lot of self – resentment that will eventually result you being jealous of those around you. I do not need to elaborate on how jealousy can spoil the joy of whatever you have in your life. So everytime you feel the clouds of self-doubt hover above you, tell the demon to shut up and tell thyself how much you love thee.

I am a BadeDilWaali

Someone having a big heart, not only signifies her being benevolent or giving, it also shows that the person is inviting of positive energy in her aura. A big heart is like a karma bank. You keep accumulating and saving your good karma by having a generous heart and by avoiding needless tightfistedness. I believe that sooner than later it will pay-off. If nothing else, it will strengthen the perseverance of mind, body and soul. This will make you strong enough to face any challenge in life.

Put these five barriers in the way of your anger and resentment, and you will find yourself in a much better situation to bring the calm snowy pleasant looking clouds back to the sky. And one could definitely get used to the feeling of happiness and wellness that comes accrued while you shed of your baggage.

About the Guest writer: Anupriya is an engineer, turned HR professional turned stay-at-home-mother turned work-from home mother. In a span of last 13 years, she has stayed in atleast 5 different cities and thus traversed the length and breadth of the country. Apart from being passionate about her profession in a Human Resources Management, she is an ardent reader and a lover of leisure cooking. As she nurtures her three kids all under 5 ( 2 boys and a blog) she picks on thoughts that help her become better at every aspect of her life and jot them down in her blog www.mommytincture.com . This blog is a legacy sibling she wishes to leave for her sons.

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Experience of writing a book on Romance by Inderpreet Uppal

 
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The experience of writing a romance has been very exciting. I have always been a fan of romance. I find everything in romance books, more so with the various sub-genres of romance. Romantic thrillers, mysteries, paranormal and legal romance, the choices are manifold. It was the natural choice for me to write on an aspect of love since romance is what I read the most. I did not need to handle romance; it just held my hand and guided me. The experience has been very challenging and satisfying since I this is what I always wished to write. I was able to write or express what the characters feel even though the emotions at times are overwhelming. Romance and love are such an integral part of our lives, even when we are alone we are surrounded by love so it was both easy and difficult to write. Easy, since romance is all around us, whether in movies or books, even on TV and in lives around us. Difficult, because to actually express the deep feelings and strong emotions and not make them extreme or cold. I knew I wanted to write about love. It was as if Diya wanted me to pen her story and highlight what happens when we have no control over our love and life and still need to keep going. It has elements of love and life similar to the highs and lows we face. I was thinking of a story about a garden, a girl and her attachment to it and the story just flowed from there. The main character is a simple yet strong girl who finds herself after a tremendous setback. A kind of inspiration for those who have lost someone special in their life and find the strength to go on.

Diya is about strength, she will motivate the reader to look at the silver lining in the dark clouds. I want my readers to feel positive and hopeful after reading the story and understand that life goes on. Losing someone does not mean the end of everything.

Here is an excerpt for the readers-

Thinking it to be filled with odd knick-knacks leftover from various projects, she was surprised to see it full of pictures. A groan escaped from her unknowingly as did a tear and then another. She closed her eyes as she held on to the pictures but the tears escaped unheeded. Wiping her eyes, she steeled herself for what was to come, a bonanza of images celebrating their relationship, recording the silly, funny and even the angry moments.

Romance is always on my mind and I am working on taking Diya’s story forward. Many of my readers requested to know more about her so ‘Diya’s Desire’ is in the works. When I had written ‘Generously Yours’, I was just writing about the ‘now’. Diya in her present and how is she coping. It was never about what would happen or had passed, however as the story evolved and grew, many readers wanted to know more. I too felt the need to give Diya her ‘present’ and am penning the sequel ‘Diya’s Desire’. More details when I have fleshed it out further J I plan it as a full-length novel. ‘We Women Wonder’ is nonfiction that I have talked about on my social media. It is about us women and the various thoughts, issues, prejudices and assumptions we face from the world and women. It is a book close to my heart as it stems from all that we face being a woman and how we can be better. Another romance is in the works as well as various short reads. Thank you for hosting me, Romila. All the very best to you and for your books.

About the author
 

Inderpreet writes for her love of writing, edits manuscripts,  and reads endlessly. A sprinkling of fiction, a dash of books, and a bit of opinion add to the eclectic mix that is Eloquent Articulation. She is a Masters in Human Resources Management and an Army brat, she now joins her adorable Army hubby across the country. Books, editing, reviews, freelance writing, posts, and blogging keep her busy whenever she gets a breather from mothering her ‘too tricky to handle son’. She has recently published her first book on Amazon, GENEROUSLY YOURS. 

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